Grandpa

He stood in front of the mirror, not necessarily admiring his reflection, but trying to make sure that he looked as presentable as possible.   He pulled at the tucked t-shirt so that it hung slightly over his waistband allowing a small sliver of his brown leather belt to show.  As he did this, he repeated to himself, “It’s so nice to meet you. My what a big girl you are!”  He shook his head in disapproval and continued to tuck at the shirt, this time a little more fervency. He had to make it perfect.  He pulled a few more times and then again looked up at his reflection.  His hair had slightly fallen out of place and he gently pushed his coif back into place.  He was lucky that even at his age and after all that he had been through he still had a good full head of hair.  Granted, it was salt and pepper, but it helped him seem distinguished.  Seem being the operative word here, he thought to himself.  He smiled at his reflection, both at the joke and at the fact that he sort of liked what he saw.  His face had weathered over the years but his skin was a lovely olive color.  His eyes crinkled in the corners but their piercing blue color seemed to overshadow any hints of aging that father time tried to throw his way.  He combed down his mustache one more time and then ran the palms of his hands down the front of his t-shirt.  “World’s Best Grandpa” he read out loud.  “Well, alright.  I’m a grandpa” he mused.   He looked over at the corner of the dresser at Cassie’s picture.  He picked up the frame and looked at her big, blue eyes.  She wore her hair in pig-tails and her gigantic grin showed a number of empty spaces where baby teeth once held residence.  She looked a lot like her father but to Mario he only saw his own daughter in his granddaughter’s face and he found himself easily falling back into a sea of memories of Nadia as a little girl.  He could hear her laughter and feel the warmth of her embrace.  Those first seven years of her life were by far the greatest but after age seven their lives started to unravel at the seams and Mario did little to help.   He lost his job and destroyed his marriage.  Over the course of the next ten years, he shut himself up in a drunken stupor, oblivious to the pain that he was causing and unaware of the distance he was creating between him  & his daughter.  Showing up to Nadia’s graduation with a pee-stained set of trousers and the smell of whiskey on his breath was the last straw for Nadia.  That was the last he saw of her.  But now, here was his chance.  To be a family again, and prove he was the “world’s greatest grandpa” like the shirt he bought said. 

Shards of glass...

I paced back and forth, my eyes glued to the floor as shards of tiny glass glittered in the sunlight.  I walked toward the north gate where I could see a tiny flower shop that undoubtedly remained upon strictly on selling floral arrangements to the cemetery across the street and then I turned south to walk toward a gate that showed an old colonial home with a hand-written sign on the window that read ‘Go Home Now’.  The day was hot and humid, which was quite typical of New York City in July.  The beads of sweat trickled down the inside of my thigh and I could feel them strike the pavement like heavy tear drops.  At any other point in my life, I would have been mortified, but now I did nothing to wipe them off. I was far beyond saving myself from any type of embarrassment as I caught a young woman staring at me from across the roadway as she sat perched on her balcony with a notebook in hand.  She was furiously jotting down notes, as she alternately would raise her head to look in my direction.  I didn’t know who she was and at this point, I didn’t really care to know.  I just knew that she must have been judging me, and that really pissed me off.  I’m sure she assumed, just like everyone else did, that I was some type of low-life or drug addict or socialist looking for a hand out.  This was all the furthest from the truth.  In fact, I was a republican who had voted for Bush, supported foreign wars and married a husband who had made tons of money in the stock market.  Naya screamed out to me, “mommy, watch me!” as she raced across the parking lot, weaving in and out of the yellow lines that were once there to help guide a star crossed lovers car into their parking space before they checked in for a night of love-making and vows breaking.  She ran quickly, her Skecher sneakers kicking up dust from the remnants of the renovation that was occurring behind me and I smiled proudly at her. “Great job my little darling!” I shouted in encouragement.  I had stopped to watch her racing against an invisible friend that she was taunting, “I’m beating you! I’m beating you!” and I found my heart aching at the thought that despite it all, she seemed to be ready to win any battle.  “Are you kidding me??” I heard an irate voice behind me as a couple that I had noticed staying here before began to argue.  They were looking down at a piece of paper that was just handed to them and looked to be in disbelief.  I looked over to the door of the main office where I had assumed they had just left from and could only see the shadow of a head behind the screen door.  I began to pace again, waiting for my turn…